[Stationary Stationery] There's only 2 hours & 24 minutes left to burn before 2008 settles in & I've yet to embrace my post-Os days. I haven't made a single garment off my sketch book which includes two supposed collections. I still haven't printed out my own Pride shirt I planned/designed a couple of months back. I haven't written songs for ages because I only get to squeeze out either a verse or a chorus at every attempt. They're never complete. + I haven't got 'round to putting together them 2007/High school pittures, much less get them processed. Mofuckums, I need my pay! I've been busting tables since the last post. Just ended my shift at 7pm just now. I've got 2 more days of this gig & then I'm getting days off! Which means I can make it to the party on the 4th. I'm dead packed this week & to think the year's just gonna start. When I finally come 'round to making a sound decision, I'll have my own music back into my ears. I hate them songs they play at work. Let's talk about work for a while: I've spotted no rats since Zhuliana left, just heard of their presence. Morning shifts are always fun. I would love to have a mom like Mami Aini who'd willingly let her kids go out & ferry herself everywhere on a motorcycle. I wanna know when's her birthday so I can get her somefink Harley Davidson! & mornings with Gavin is full of blended shit that keeps everyone's stomach full until lunch break. I finally snapped at work today. At Alain & at them cunts of customers. No smoking table, big deal. I can fucking transfer you over to the smoking area within 15 minutes but nooo they had to make it a big deal & started spotting out who's smoking & who's not at the smoking area. Fuck you indons. No one fucks about your money. You all are merely millionares = SGD a few hundres. I heard myself snap & I thought it was funny after I was finished so I laughed. I know, wtf. Haha.
I feel real sad, berefted even. I had planned to go hang with my Mom & countdown with her in town. But she turned the offer down. It sucks cock cos when I finally have time to spend & want to spend with her, she turns me down flat. She didn't even consider it. *piakpiakpiak* It pierced my heart a little that I cried in the bus home. Almost everyone in the bus was rah-rah & laughing & everything party nitwits feel/do. They might have thought I didn't belong on earth wetting my cheeks at a time like this. I do see her every day & every night. But I miss her, you know? It's as though we've faded away from each other since I started work, even worse now that school's gonna start for the other two kids. She's busy with yikyakfrickfrack. I know I can't blame her but eeyer. Sometimes I wish I was the only kid. Just in times like this. I haven't been out with her for a hella long time & I crave it like a stupid baby. Fuck, even typing this out puts me on the edge of crying again. I do wonder, as much as you do, why the hell I'm so weird like this.
Imma go over to Meritus Mandarin later. No, not to waitress. I'm counting down with Isaac & them roadies. Eeyer. It sucks to think+know I'll be the only noob there. Hopefully it'll help drain away this sunken feeling. Yeah, I'm digging my heels in the dirt. I've work at 7am tomorrow. I hope I don't turn out a zombie by dawn. There's no fucking way I can sleep with them around. & no, I'm not getting back at my mom. So in case I forget to text or Singtel decides to be a bitch, Happy Mofuckum New Year [2008], Mofos!
