[I'm the best at ruining my life, that's why I make so much sense] It's all about how much our academic abilities is worth now, in simply less than 176 hours. Yeah, no shitting you. I've mugged, been mugging, still mugging. So much so I forgot my Italian food-laden kitchen table for lunch/dinner yesterday. I even forgot to smoke for [almost] two goddamn days. But,
What if all this isn't enough? What if I'd never reap whatever I sowed? What if I don't make it out alive to go for all the roughly planned post-Os activities? What if I don't get the chance to say what I wanna say to all you fuckfaces? [I never believed in what ifs so why am I so iffy?]
All these things that used to seem so far is diving head first into my face. [Cos all these things I hate revolves around me] How these thoughts always go It's okay, there's still next year/month/week or tomorrow. Now there's no more tomorrow to call tomorrow. I feel like throwing myself against the wall just to bust open another outlet but it wouldn't cave in albeit my 667694kg-ness. This isn't how my academic life's supposed to end up, all scrunched up & shoved under the rug or sucked by the vacuum cleaner. This isn't how I planned my departure. This isn't the way to walk out of that hall singing World's Greatest.
I was so looking forward to the end. Now the end's fucking near, the anticipation's fucking gone. It's not even hiding under the gallons of blubber under my skin. It's fucking gone kappish kablak kiankeong. [& this is how (my) world ends]
