So we'll be decked to the neck with the remaining papers within the next week. God, I just want them to hurry up & blow over so I can scream my way home and all right down to town, or someplace. I need to, at the very least, stop in the middle of the road and show off my Bobby arm-wave while wearing yellow Bobby socks! Yes, this is what exams do to us kids in SG.
Hello Saturday night, playing Saturday's playlist & Saturday movie premieres. Yeah tonight's one of those rare Saturnights where I decide to waste all my night hours off the net, sit back and just watch/listen to/think of stuff. I was listening to Amor For Sleep's Truth About Heaven. Only then it occured to me how much I may have been distant from myself & some of those who are close to me. See, this song was my bedtime song for more than a year, until I filtered it out from my Zen say two/three months ago. Why I did that, I still have no idea why. Listening to it now seems to me like a puzzle-piece that's finally been found to make me whole again, yesyes I'm already a very whole and well-ROUNDED individual but you get my drift. My heart's like filtered of all its undeserved and unwanted contents, and these are tucked away in a small corner. This song's like my way of knowing how everything/everyone - good or bad, awesome or shizzle - is counted in the outcome of what I am & will be. & in some way, how I miss the old me. & that happy endings are far beyond our reach, no matter how happy we feel we are. It used to put me well into sleep because I'd somehow feel cleansed. It's like everytime before I close my eyes I go through that folder tucked away in my heart & see how far I've gone, reminiscing & adding on to it every night, then tucking it away again feeling that tomorrow's gonna be alright & I'd have more to add on to it. I don't know how to explain it, even if I did who'd understand? You'd probably have to be God to know so. But I guess now I know the root of my unsettled sleeps.
I miss subtle, sombre, settling days when I'd take a good walk down the neighbourhood and ending up at Simei or Tampines, just taking in the life that everyone's living, watching them race against time, watching clouds literally flouncing. I'd be armed with two pencils & scraps of paper & $2.40 for two cans of redbull, also pulling out my cell's battery purposefully. & walk till my legs die before taking the longest ride home. It was awesome for the soul. I don't know if it can ever happen again.
