I gave the neighbourhood a long walk this afternoon because life is a humdrum. But I guess it's more to the fact that I feel myself fading out a whole lot. I haven't been getting any sun for since school ended. Not to mention how much I havent caught up with so many people. You know not the sorts of talks you have on the train ride home from work or during break. I'm hoping for a bit more depth, like sitting around & talking about whatever & cracking up each other with shitass jokes just letting time run by before heading home and talking again over the messenger. Funnily, I miss hanging out as much as I did. & because of this, I've been sleeping in a lot of late. More in the early afternoons than at night. In the wee hours of the morning I can't get my eyes to shut. Partly because of work but that's marginal. Bigger part of it would be that I have nothing to look forward to. & the consequence? I'm fucking ballooning. I can forget about graduation night. By far, I've only touched Chemistry & that's that. It doesn't help that I'm broke to my bones too. 'Course I love the holidays but when things start to get stagnant, I wish it'll be cut short. Neither am I saying school is the best place to be. Speaking of stagnant, I think my brain stagnated. I can't bloody think properly. It's like I've got a lot to talk about but I've nothing to say. I can't voice out & I have no idea why. I don't even bother to deny something I didn't do when I get accused of doing so. Heck, I don't even bother to plead to go out. It's like I'm transforming into this lifeless & brainless freak. Yes, worse than when I was born. & when you weigh just one of my fingers, the needle on the machine goes two whole rounds before the springs come out.
Oh yeah, I tried to write again. I didn't work out. I used to hate the way the city sleeps at night When every soul is sound asleep And I lay there in the empty field Staring up into the black sky I loathed the fact that I was alone My heart was screaming to get some air So sometimes I'd sing the night away Hoping that tomorrow will be a better day But here, tonight, in the same old field I lay down again in the same old spot There's a twist to the tale I'd told Cos tonight I'm not some berefted soul You're lying here, snuggling next to me And now I'd love for the city to forever sleep So that our conversation could sink in deep Releasing all the pent up feelings that reigned our hearts I can't deny just being here, just you and me Can make me sway to your pumping heartbeat
