Monday, August 1
you're together but your heart's not there.neither is your trust yet you keep your face smiley.those so many months,still too little for your heart,aren't they? you know we're over,through and through yet there's no letting go. the irony.
sometimes,i just don't get it.but at least,i'm promising myself to keep my happy juices flow.nothing's gonna spoil my day,be it the Cheebye minahs i.e. Zieka :D nor Fuckhead Mats. :DD oh,don't get me wrong,this isn't criticising,it's Reality :)
***
today's the first of August already. however,it seems like just yesterday school started.and i,zy,sha would sing those used-to-be-ace-songs-to-us by MCR.before they were SOOOOOOOOOO camera-HYPERACTIVE.RAHH.sing sing singing and no one else knows what the hell we're singing,not even the matsnminahs.see how fast things change? and not forgetting my skipping netball so many zillion times for regular town visits to HMV.
on the bright side,it's been a good nine months since i turned my life over from last year's too hyperactivity-like going home early,keeping myself occupied and not slack as bloody much as i used to AAAAND 36 hours on the internet a day :D thanks to these,i've found a better source of hapiness: the comfort of a home and the presence of internet within reach.i've become wayy more independant than i'd ever been.done things in my stride and going out alone alot,to reflect and replenish,though it doesn't apply academically.there's always a sense of satisfaction when i come back from lonewalks.ten times as much as a group hang-out.
somehow i feel very grateful to many people of what i am today(minus the numerous cusses).
some of the few would be sha and zy-the introduction of a Great music path,Din-always being there for me when i needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on and telling me to keep strong,Suf-for making me part of the band and made all the jamming sessions worth while,even when we fought or cussed at each other and last but not the least,Aqilah-for influencing me with the right things e.g. studying hard and being strong emotionally. and a few others who've been part of me all this while.
well,i feel satisfied enough now. :D
